Nudity within extended families

What family issues do you wish to discuss here? Parenting, coupling, stages of life, discussing naturism with reluctant family members, growing in Christ as a family? Anything else?<P>Residents and higher may post here.

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Postby Jon-Marc » Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:55 am

At the first place where I was a member, Forest Hills Club, a woman there was in a panic and running around trying to get someone to give her something to put on because her daughter had come to the resort to visit her. Didn't her daughter know it was a nudist resort? Yes, she did so what was the problem? Her mother just didn't want her daughter to see her completely nude. It was beyond my comprehension.

Although I feel more comfortable nude with strangers than non-nudist family members, if they have no problem with it I will push aside any discomfort I may feel and be nude. Since I live in a nudist resort, anyone who comes here knows what to expect. I will not dress for them. I did dress the one and only time my daughter came to visit me at Turtle Lake Resort by wearing a robe, because she didn't want to see me nude. I call that being dressed.

A son-in-law was downloading some things for me from one computer so I could transfer tham to a new one. He came across a nude photo of me and was so embarrassed that he covered it with his hand.
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Postby jochanaan » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:32 pm

It's a strange thing, isn't it, that things we feel free sharing with complete strangers we can't share at all with our family. I think it's because we don't have to live with strangers, yet if our family reacts badly, we have to deal with them the rest of our lives. That's waaay too risky for some of us--including me, who haven't shared my naturism with any of my family. Though some would accept it, I'm certain some would be horrified and think I had embraced a sexual perversion, and I'm not even sure who is who.

It's easy to say "This should not be; we must be open with our families"--yet very very hard for many of us to put into practice. :(
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Postby Alfie » Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:02 pm

I agree with those comments Jochanaan.
Also in the situation where family is not accepting of nudism we would react to them in the same way as we'd react to strangers (at close quarters) who are not accepting.
The issue of annonimity comes into play. If we think they are not accepting, or we dont know, and we can remain annonymous then we mostly have no problem. But if there is the possibility of them recongising us either now or later then we perceive a problem.
One time last summer when out jogging nude is was :lol: 'sprung' by a mountain bike rider :oops: as I returned to my verhicle. My concern was mostly that I was in my work ute (I have my own business) and that the person may recognise me by associating this crazy nude jogger with the business verhicle.
Just to finish the story I jogger straight past my ute as if it was someone elses and kept going until the rider was well out of site then returned to it to drive home via another route. :?
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Postby Jon-Marc » Mon Jul 10, 2006 3:54 am

Well, now, isn't this interesting? I replied to a post, and here it is as a new post started by me. I don't remember starting a new post on this subject. :lol: Maybe it was during one of my sleepy moments when I wasn't all there, but then, when am I ever all there? Being a little bit crazy keeps me from going insane. :lol:
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Postby Desert Hiker » Mon Jul 10, 2006 9:08 am

No you aren't going crazy Jon Marc--your reply was split from the sticky post I made, to make this topic. There are several issues raised there, and we feel each one deserves its own space to fully explore that issue--I hope you don't mind.

On to the issue at hand now--yes, I agree, it does get a bit more dicey around the family doesn't it--as the stakes are higher. Ironic though isn't it--as this phenomenon extends way beyond being seen nude by them, and includes personal issues. I think it is indicative of a lack of trust, and openness.

I have seen some odd behavior by a family of naturist friends of ours. This family has taken to our way of life like the proverbial ducks to water, and are very comfortable with our nudity, and are comfortably nude around us as well. However, the situation was always tense when one or more of their family is in our presence--even though the other has already been nude in our presence, and knows the other is also nude with us. It took allot more courage for the son to be nude in front of his mother, even with everyone else present, including the mother, being nude. Imagine this, if you can, several people from 2 families are all sitting in, or around the jacuzzi--ALL are nude save for one, the son who has not been allowed to be nude in his mothers presence, until now--(drum roll please)-- :lol: yeah, no pressure man! :wink:

This fear was eventually overcome, and they were relieved, and full of joy when they are able to be freely nude in their presence. Even after this breakthrough, it is fascinating to see this phenomenon repeated with each new family member that is introduced to us, and our/their natural way of life.

I have not kept it a secret from my family, and have recieved mixed blessings as a result. I can speak freely of our way of life to most of them, but not all are supportive. Some object strongly, others are understanding, and tolerate it, and respect our views--but do not wish to participate. Others are completely understanding, and supportive, and participate with us. My family is mostly composed of quite conservative, Christians, with typically conservative views on most things--most see nudity as a sexually charged thing that is only for adult married couples. None the less, I have not withheld the truth from them, and I still have their love and respect.

I say this as an encouragement to those who still harbor this secret from the rest of your family. Yes, it may cause them a certain level of alarm, or not. If my family is any indication, and they are about as straight up conservative as they come, you will likely get quite similar reactions from yours--there is hope.

It seems to me that we imagine things allot worse than they really are, or would be--if we told the truth. So our fear silences us, and the enemy wins again.

A wise man once observed; In order for a turtle to make any progress, he has to stick his neck out

He who risks nothing, gains nothing.
Peace In Christ, Sam

Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart...--Job
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Postby LivingFree » Mon Jul 10, 2006 10:41 am

Desert Hiker observes that "our fear silences us." For me, it's not so much fear, but the lack of desire to create relational distance between family and friends. People are so terribly afraid of seeing "private parts," not knowing what to do with the thoughts that pop into their heads because of social conditioning, that it makes them very uncomfortable. And at my age, I just don't want to tackle that agenda. It's too much the idea of "what's wrong with grandpa -- he's just a dirty old man going off the deep end . . . ."

But it goes way back. I've written about parts of it in my Growing into naturism post.
http://www.cnvillage.org/viewtopic.php? ... 69dcbfd948
My Dad was very strict about keeping the body covered. My wife's family was also very strict. When I was married I was willing to push out the personal, couple boundaries a bit; my wife was not. So now, 40 years later, after we raised our children with similar strict boundaries, it's quite upsetting to them all.

The best thing about it is that somebody "leaked" information about my presence on a particular website, which has caused me some loss of prestige locally, and my two grown children have begun to support my "cause" in that regard. One in-law seems to be supportive, also, but the other apparently has pretty well checked me off. And he is the closed minded type of person who will never change his mind. I could handle that, but I don't want to be shut out from my grandchildren.

I suppose there are lots of people out there in both camps -- some who just don't care what other people think, and others who care a lot. In fact, I have had private conversations with some who would be open to exploring the care free, clothes-free lifestyle if it weren't for the social pressure they would have to endure, and others who won't touch it by a country mile. I guess it takes all kinds.
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Postby Jon-Marc » Mon Jul 10, 2006 10:42 am

I'm sure you realize, Sam, that I was being my usual facetious self. :lol: You explained what you had done, and it's no problem. When I was 27 my wife and I separated and eventually divorced. I stayed for a while with my parents until I got another place to live.

I had to sleep on their sofa and had no privacy. One night I went to bed before they did, and all I had on was my robe. When I removed my robe, my mother got a view of my bare backside and hollered, "You could have warned me!" I didn't understand the problem when all she saw was my butt. Of course, in my case, if I had been facing her she wouldn't have seen much. :lol: My dad made fun of the size of my penis, and I didn't think at the time or I would told him, "I've seen yours, and you haven't got anything to say." :lol:
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Postby Desert Hiker » Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:09 am

LivingFree wrote:Desert Hiker observes that "our fear silences us." For me, it's not so much fear, but the lack of desire to create relational distance between family and friends. People are so terribly afraid of seeing "private parts," not knowing what to do with the thoughts that pop into their heads because of social conditioning, that it makes them very uncomfortable. And at my age, I just don't want to tackle that agenda. It's too much the idea of "what's wrong with grandpa -- he's just a dirty old man going off the deep end . . . ."


I understand your delimna LF, and I sympathize , and empathize with you. The same fears of reprisal, and rejection kept us silent for years--it was our "dirty little secret". However, as time passed, we became more at peace with ourselves and God, in our way of life. It was neccessary for us to come to be completely at peace with God, and what was truly acceptable in His eyes, before we could face our family and friends. Additionally, I have an inate desire to be completely open to my family and friends--I do not want to harbor secrets from them, as this burdens my heart, and sours our relationship as we are reluctant to speak freely on all issues.

We also have a few members of our family who are strongly opposed to casual family, or social nudity. It is unlikely that no amount of talking to them will ever change their mind either, but we can always hope--as some in our midst have said that they themselves were just as opposed to it. Some evangelists have pointed out that those who beller the loudest, are the ones who are the closest to making a life changing choice--so maybe they are actually considering it, but don't want to seem "weakened" by our witness to them.

Our presence, and efforts on this site do a great good for many, but we still need to continue to witness for Christ, and the freedom from sin and shame He affords all of us in all of our personal daily lives. We do need to share these truths with those we care about most, and love dearly. Not all will recieve the truth, but we still must afford them the chance to recieve it. Their salvation is most important, of course--but even that is for them to work out with fear and trembling, but these other truths are not so insignificant that they can be ignored. Jesus offers us true freedom from sin and shame--once we are set free, we need to learn how to be free, and experience true freedom for ourselves, and help show the way for others.

A pastor once pointed out that in dog training, that dogs who have been chained up most of the time need to be retrained to handle the freedom from the chain. The dogs, even though set free from the chain, still stay well within the former bounderies of that chain they became accustomed to--they don't know how to go beyond it, and fear what lies beyond the former boundery. However, with patience, and encouragement, the dog does learn how to be free of that chain.

We are not unlike the dog--we have been conditioned to stay within the bounderies of our former "chains", and we are reluctant to venture beyond the safety of our former limitations. Even though our Master has truly set us free from these chains, we cower at the prospect of the new freedom we have. Let the Master lead you along the path, He will not lead you astray--He will always be right by our side, encouraging us, and cheering us on.
Peace In Christ, Sam

Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart...--Job
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Postby natman » Tue Jul 11, 2006 10:09 am

This last week, while the entire family was gathered together to deal with the death of our father, my wife told everyone about how this had been the weekend we had planned for our "vacation" and that every year, we send the kids off to church camp or to the grandparents and we spend the entire week at home naked.

She even reiterated it a letter to everyone, explaining that the first thing we did when we got home was to strip of our clothes and relax.

None of my family reacted with shock or awe. Only one chuckled a little. The rest simply said "Sounds like Nathan."
SON-cerely,
Nathan Powers

Get exposed to the sun, and get exposed to the Son.
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Postby LivingFree » Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:27 pm

You've got a great wife, Nathan. I've found that people relax a bit when my wife gets into the conversation and defends my beliefs. If only she would join in with me, it would be even better. I remember an early conversation our son had with his mother -- "And how do you feel about it?" It seems that in some ways, the "dirty old man" idea dissipates somewhat when the female partner supports it and joins in.
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Postby Strandloper » Tue Jul 11, 2006 4:08 pm

And when she disagrees, they support her and reinforce the “dirty old man” idea.
That’s what happens in my house, anyway.
Shalom,
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Postby NewTexan » Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:22 am

Hi Jon-Marc I noticed that the you was a member at the Forest Hills Club. Was that my any chance the one in Saranac, Michigan? That was the first one that I went to many many years ago.
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Postby Jon-Marc » Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:12 am

NewTexan wrote:Hi Jon-Marc I noticed that the you was a member at the Forest Hills Club. Was that my any chance the one in Saranac, Michigan? That was the first one that I went to many many years ago.


Is there more than one Forest Hills Club? I was a member of that one in 2001. It was my first socially nude experience. Then I discovered Turtle Lake Resort that was only a half hour drive from me. Saranac was about an hour and 15 minutes from me.
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Postby NewTexan » Thu Sep 04, 2008 12:35 pm

Forest Hills was about 45 min from my home and I only went about 3 or 4 times when all hell broke loose at home and have nnever been back to a resort since
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Postby Jon-Marc » Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:23 pm

What I can't understand is how did this subject get attributed to me? I didn't start it. Was what I said so far off track that someone thought it necessary to start a new "strip"?
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