Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

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Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby natman » Sun Aug 12, 2012 7:45 am

Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

http://www.thereporter.com/features/ci_ ... rs-sisters

Published by The Reporter
Posted: 08/12/2012 01:06:54 AM PDT

Dear Straight Talk: Our dad and mom believe in casual nudity in the home. They think nothing of walking around naked. It didn't bother us when we were younger and were taught to be casual ourselves. However, since we've reached puberty (15 and 13), it really bothers me and my sister to see our dad this way. We aren't prudes and don't have a problem with nudity around our mom and other females, but we started locking our door because our dad would think nothing of walking in on us when we were undressed. We also have a 10-year-old brother, and while it doesn't bother him to see our mom nude now, it probably will pretty soon. We think opposite-sex nudity is not appropriate once you reach puberty.

-- Cindy, Sacramento

Nicole, 22, Santa Rosa: If you feel uncomfortable, things must change. Express to your parents how you feel. If your father doesn't understand, hopefully your mother will help persuade him to put some clothes on.

Christina, 20, Marysville: I agree with you completely! I would talk to your mom first.

Gregg, 21, Los Angeles: Haha, this sounds like my dad's dream family! He always walked around nude, even in the back yard. For me it was no big deal, but my sister had a hard time when she hit puberty. She kept her privacy by locking the door and telling Dad straight up that he should put some clothes on -- not that he ever did. I remember he would try to talk to her while he was naked and she would be like, "You're naked, no way!"

Jessie, 20, Eugene, Ore.: Of course this would be uncomfortable! Ask them bluntly to at least wear basic underwear. Remind them that in eight short years you all will be moved out and they can revert to nudity. While I would think parents would want to keep a family happy, you never know about people's habits. Either way, continue locking your door.

Colin, 18, Sacramento: Essentially the only reason public nudity is looked down on is because of sexual attraction. That's why there are male and female locker rooms. This sexual factor is removed in the case of immediate family. Freud would have a lot to say about this.

Ryann, 15, Tustin: I agree with you and your sister. Opposite sex nudity is inappropriate once you reach a certain age. You should never have to feel like a prisoner in your home. Talk to them. Maybe they don't realize the effect it has on you.

Dear Cindy: Your parents sound innocent but completely forgetful. Did Mom forget what it's like to first get breasts and pubic hair, how it's thrilling and private and you don't want to show men, especially, ugh, your dad? Did Dad forget that a boy at puberty is hard-wired to be aroused by the naked female form -- even (sometimes) if it's his mother or sister? We get lots of mail from boys who suffer horribly from clueless mothers and sisters parading around nude.

The panel recommends talking to your parents and frankly, nothing will change if you don't. Unfortunately, most parents won't automatically accommodate your request, they will ask "why" their nakedness bothers you -- yes, the dreaded question that makes you not want to bother. (Parents: It's important to inquire about the possibility of abuse, but "why" questions that tap into the normal feelings of puberty mentioned above, your teen cannot and should not have to answer.) If this happens to you, just say, "Nothing inappropriate is going on, but we're young women now and would prefer that you wear clothes."Repeat as needed. If it doesn't work, avert your eyes and lock your door.

Note to parents: See that bathrobe? The dream parent automatically starts using it as their kids approach puberty. He or she doesn't wait to be asked to cover up (or not asked, as is most often the case). If you happen to have brave kids that do ask, do them a favor and just reach for the bathrobe. Don't defend your right to be nude. And don't act like there is something wrong with your kid for not feeling cozy about familial displays of nudity once they hit puberty or pre-puberty. It is quite normal. (I would however, in a safe and confidential moment, inquire about sexual abuse, just in case.)

If Colin got you wondering what Freud would think, Freud was right: Sex rules our lives. And we want our sex lives to be healthy. Unhealthy sexual acting-out has been exposed among the most apparently upstanding individuals -- in our churches, ashrams, clubs, camps, locker rooms, and homes. It is a tragedy for the children and adolescents involved. Many families are relaxed about nudity and the vast majority of these situations are completely innocent and natural. Nonetheless, there isn't an adult female over 40 who doesn't know multiple women who were sexually abused as children by whoever their father figure was (it takes till about 40 for many of them to tell their friends). In other words, there is an archetypal instinct in teen girls to "cover up" and avoid older men who aren't, and that instinct is totally healthy and protective. Please support it.

-- Lauren
SON-cerely,
Nathan Powers

Get exposed to the sun, and get exposed to the Son.
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby Larryk1052 » Sun Aug 12, 2012 8:01 am

Seems like the cultural conditioning is stronger for these young people than what they were brought up in. From what was said, doesn't sound like the family were naturists. There is a difference between living the naturist lifestyle and casual nudity.
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby jochanaan » Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:19 am

If only these young people had friends their age who are also naturists! :(
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby natman » Mon Aug 13, 2012 7:15 am

I think that it is one thing if parents suddenly change their behavior after being prudish for many years and another if they have raised their children from birth with casual nudity as the norm.

I do recommend asking a child why they have a change of attitude. As mentioned, it may be the result of some form of abuse, either of the child or of one of the child's friends. In that case, something needs to be done to expose and stop the abuse. It may also simply be due to peer pressure by friends who make a child feel that to appreciate simple nudity is "weird", or it may be concern over the changes that are going on in the child's body during puberty, as that is a time when children typically become most self-aware and self-focused.

As long as there is no abuse going on within the family, there should be no reason for the parents to change their pattern of living to accommodate the change in attitude of the child. In fact, it may be the WORST thing they can do because it implants in their mind that there really IS something wrong with simple nudity. This would make a child question and lose trust in the wisdom and direction of their parents which will create more problems down the road.

Lauren made the following statement in her response...
Lauren wrote:In other words, there is an archetypal instinct in teen girls to "cover up" and avoid older men who aren't, and that instinct is totally healthy and protective.


While I concur that there is a typical response in our western culture for teen girls to cover up and avoid older men, I do not believe that it is an "instinct". This is evidenced by that fact that it is not universal; that teen girls in many cultures which live nude or mostly nude have no such response. They do not even give it a second thought. According to a Nat Geo documentary I have seen, in most such cultures, teen rape by elder men rates are far lower than our western and more prudish cultures. Marriage and sex are more morally regulated.
SON-cerely,
Nathan Powers

Get exposed to the sun, and get exposed to the Son.
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby Ramblinman » Mon Aug 13, 2012 10:04 am

natman wrote:...Lauren made the following statement in her response...
Lauren wrote:In other words, there is an archetypal instinct in teen girls to "cover up" and avoid older men who aren't, and that instinct is totally healthy and protective.


While I concur that there is a typical response in our western culture for teen girls to cover up and avoid older men, I do not believe that it is an "instinct". This is evidenced by that fact that it is not universal; that teen girls in many cultures which live nude or mostly nude have no such response. They do not even give it a second thought. According to a Nat Geo documentary I have seen, in most such cultures, teen rape by elder men rates are far lower than our western and more prudish cultures. Marriage and sex are more morally regulated.


These teens and early 20's are quoted as if they are some sort of experts in psychology. They certainly show that prudish notions of nudity are common, but I put no faith in anything else they say.

For the record, I have seen plenty of confident nude teen girls in the presence of their parents and other guests at naturist venues. Who needs clothing when you are comfortable and confident?
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby Bare_Truth » Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:31 am

Nicole, 22, Santa Rosa wrote: If you feel uncomfortable, things must change. Express to your parents how you feel. If your father doesn't understand, hopefully your mother will help persuade him to put some clothes on.

That is so in your face offensive. Children should not rule the family :!:

Isaiah 3:
12 ¶As for my people, children are their oppressors, .....

Our society has turned the family upside down. Rather than learning life skills and behavior from their parents they learn from their peers and humanistic school system, then seek to dictate to their parents. Of course so many of the parents are so screwed up and that doesn't help either.

Here endeth the daily rant! :hairy:
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby JimShedd112 » Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:54 am

Well said, Bare_Truth. Almost everything in society has been geared to teach youth their parents have it all wrong, beginning with our public schools and our politicians on the Left (Al Gore comes to mind).

Jim
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby Petros » Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:41 am

I do not recall my parents [including my Spock-carrying mother] paying any attention to behaviors that might make any of us uncomfortable. In fact, la Madre a few times went out of her way to say and do things that made me uncomfortable.


That said, i do not think the Yuch reaction is necessarily societally imposed. We are wired very differently - I suspect that even raised in a naturist environment Herself would be uncomfortable with nudity. Certainly Number One Son never as a child chose to run aroun au naturel, though certain of his cousins did.
The truth, the stark naked truth, the truth without so much as a loincloth on, should surely be the investigator's sole aim - Basil Chamberlain
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby Ramblinman » Fri Aug 17, 2012 5:12 pm

Textile parents of young children do not ask them what they want to wear.
They put their clothes for school or play out for them,
dressing the youngest of the young.

Why should nudist parents not be free to decide for the entire family:
That clothing is never for indoor use?
And clothing is not for playtime in the private part of their yard during the warmer months?
And clothing is not an option when the family visits the nudist resort or campground?
(weather allowing)

If the family comes late to nudism, perhaps the child will falter, perhaps becoming
self-conscious about nudity.
But how have families always helped children overcome fears?
Through capitulating to fear?
Or teaching children to face their fears and overcome them?

If children want to dress up and cowboys and Indians, a princess and knight,
parents may find ways to allow costumes for special occasions,
without letting the compulsion to wear clothing
creep in on cat's feet.
Nudity should be the norm, Mom and dad leading by example!
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby JimShedd112 » Fri Aug 17, 2012 7:08 pm

Well said, Ramblinman. Of course, it'd only take a mention to a "do gooder" at school to have the authorities sweep in to "investigate" and perhaps result in the kids at least temporarily being removed from the home.

Jim
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby Ramblinman » Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:37 pm

JimShedd112 wrote:Well said, Ramblinman. Of course, it'd only take a mention to a "do gooder" at school to have the authorities sweep in to "investigate" and perhaps result in the kids at least temporarily being removed from the home. Jim


Jim,

Ignorance of naturism is very common and we will have these misunderstandings for a long time to come.

The best way is for naturists and home nudists to be prepared to defend their beliefs, demand their rights, be willing to expose their lifestyle to public scrutiny and as soon as possible, enlist the help of AANR and the Naturist Action Committee of The Naturist Society. These groups have defended individual naturists in court before. It is very helpful if you are a member of TNS or AANR.

If enough of us send a wakeup call to DFACS, their agents will eventually learn who we are. Might take a few lawsuits to hit them where it hurts and their stupid bosses will send out a memo to leave the nudists alone.
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby wearingair » Sat Aug 18, 2012 5:46 pm

Robert F. Kennedy wrote:Each time we stand up for an ideal, or act to improve the lot of others, or strike out against injustice, we send forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.


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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby jochanaan » Mon Aug 20, 2012 1:16 pm

It does seem strange that on every other issue, most folks would say that the parents should do what they know is best--but on this one, they should shut up and get dressed! :shock: :?:
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby Petros » Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:02 am

jochanaan wrote:It does seem strange that on every other issue, most folks would say that the parents should do what they know is best--but on this one, they should shut up and get dressed! :shock: :?:



But is that so? It may well depend on in what circles one moves. Most of those I have heard from feel across the board parents should go with the flow of conventional wisdom, on such issues as spanking, home schooling, dress, deportment. Those who may have a laissez faire attitude to parenting in my orbit are silent, those who speak are consistently decrying deviationism.
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Re: Straight Talk: Parents nude behavior bothers sisters

Postby Bare_Truth » Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:35 am

Petros wrote:But is that so? It may well depend on in what circles one moves. Most of those I have heard from feel across the board parents should go with the flow of conventional wisdom, on such issues as spanking, home schooling, dress, deportment. Those who may have a laissez faire attitude to parenting in my orbit are silent, those who speak are consistently decrying deviationism.
In that case I would recommend that you do an emergency burn of your booster rockets and try to reach a higher orbit.
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