Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Petros » Sun Sep 19, 2010 8:51 am

" and don't tend to let our eyes linger on each others anatomy much, if at all, are these fears laid to rest."


That, of course, is a point I relate to. I, my wife, #1 son. and the people we are just back from visiting, are all by nature inclined to stare - in the sense that we look closely at a person or thing the better to gather data and figure out what is going on. Given the society in which we live, we all have learned, at a very young age, to LOOK as if we are not looking - to fix our eyes on the hawk perched on the oak tree yonder while our minds are processing the expression on the guy standing over on the left talking to George.



This is how, on occasion, I have become aware out of the corner of my eye that someone was staring directly at ME.
The truth, the stark naked truth, the truth without so much as a loincloth on, should surely be the investigator's sole aim - Basil Chamberlain
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby jochanaan » Mon Sep 20, 2010 12:28 pm

In the naturist circles I tend to move in, this emphasis on looking "elsewhere" is thought to be silly. We are all naturally curious about human bodies, our own and others'; and our bodies are beautiful--not just some idealized version of "the human body," but our bodies, both the whole and the parts. Why should we not look?

At a recent nude swim, I complimented a young woman on her navel ornament. She explained that it was a butterfly, and that it had a special meaning for her. It was the most natural thing for me to look a little closer. Now, this woman was tall, slender and beautiful, and I was fairly close to her belly and vulva, yet we both understood that I was in no way "staring" or "ogling." I even joked that no textile would understand how I could be that close without either of us thinking about doing sex. She got it, of course, and laughed with me. 8)

That's the sort of thing that happens in the groups I frequent, and I feel it's much healthier than continuing to avoid looking "there."
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby natman » Mon Sep 20, 2010 1:03 pm

If she was wearing such an "ornament", it was likely there to draw attention, which it apparently successfully did.

She would have had no reason to complain.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Jon-Marc » Mon Sep 20, 2010 1:09 pm

I naturally look at the person to whom I'm speaking, but I look at the person's face and don't stare at her (or his) body--at least, not when I'm up close.
Last edited by Jon-Marc on Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Desert Hiker » Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:30 pm

I am the same way, Jon-Marc. I just naturally tend to look people in the face when addressing them. Of course, I might look someone over discretely, usually in a passive way, and often times from afar, but I don't dwell on anything too long. And, yes if someone has a tattoo, or some jewelry, I might make a comment, or examine it more closely--with the wearer's invitation, of course.


Not to be contentious, I do understand what Jochanaan is saying, and implies. And yes most seasoned naturists, and nudists would likely not object to being looked at by others--so long as the attention is not the uninvited kind that is overtly prolonged, and makes them uncomfortable. Everyone has their own comfort levels with this, and it is best to not routinely test those limits.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Petros » Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:34 am

Well - a bit difficult for me, I have problems with eye contact; even when in certain intense conversations - like one important and exciting discussion last month - I fix on the face of the other, I still can't tell you what his eye color was.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Desert Hiker » Tue Sep 21, 2010 2:11 am

Well, Petros, you have tapped another issue that may have varying degrees of comfort among all creatures with eyes--how directly to look at another. In the animal kingdom, direct eye contact can often be interpreted as a challenge, or a threat. This can be true even among us humans. Sometimes, in appropriate contexts it is meant to convey sincerity, or even affection.


I am quite positive that when addressing another, simply looking at their face is most acceptable. Not looking at someone's face, and avoiding eye contact is seen as weakness, or even decietfulness.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Petros » Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:12 am

Which is why a lot of people look you in the eye when they lie, of course. For a lot of us, like me, I will usually keep my eyes on your face when you are saying something important [unless I think it is embarrassing you] but I will usually look elsewhere - or take off my glasses or close my eyes - if I am saying something important enough I have to think about it.


Just a note - I find I almost always take off my glasses when praying aloud - and a lot of the bespectacles I have seen doing the same. For me, I thionk it lets me tune out the humans who may be listening and focus in in God.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Jon-Marc » Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:58 pm

Petros wrote:Well - a bit difficult for me, I have problems with eye contact; even when in certain intense conversations - like one important and exciting discussion last month - I fix on the face of the other, I still can't tell you what his eye color was.


I also have difficulty with making eye contact; it makes me very uncomfortable. I generally look at a person's mouth--especially since my hearing (like everything else) is failing.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Ramblinman » Wed Sep 22, 2010 4:43 pm

I don't stare at someone's eyes, but will make eye contact once in a while just to show that I am paying attention to the conversation. (I guess saying "uh huh" or "yep" once in a while does the same thing!)

Fixed gazing often means romantic intent whether you intend it or not.

Someone who refuses to look in my direction when we speak makes me think he is fixing to say something unpleasant or is lying to me and hopes I won't notice.

I caught a young woman looking me up and down and I was a little bit flattered by that!
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Bare_Truth » Thu May 12, 2011 12:40 am

Ramblinman wrote:.... Someone who refuses to look in my direction when we speak makes me think he is fixing to say something unpleasant or is lying to me and hopes I won't notice...

Please be aware that this eye contact thing is a cultural thing among humans. For instance in some southeast asian cultures, to look another in the eyes is a disrespectful or challenging action.

Our hang up on eye contact in western culture is very problematic for persons with Asperger's syndrome. Us aspies often process information by focusing on the matter at hand to the exclusion of other sensory inputs. Eye contact can become such a distraction that it needs to be avoided to be able to concentrate on the issue or topic at hand. For some aspies this is so pronounced that they carry cards to hand to police officers who will almost invariably misinterpret their actions as being deceitful. I had a friend who was effectively deaf since birth and in dealings with police was regarded as deceitful because of poor eye contact when he was in fact focusing on lip reading so he could understand what was being said. I myself have been regarded as being deceitful in some situations and in other cases have greatly puzzled students who would ask a difficult question and then wonder why I was staring elsewhere as I composed an answer. I have not yet become involved in any social nude situations and I feel that I will have to be very careful of being misinterpreted since eye contact and various aspects of body language may be a little "off" from what is expected. I do a pretty fair approximation of normal most the time, but under stress, especially , I will be a little "off" and people who are particularly good at reading body language most of the time will put too much trust in their ability and end up misreading a situation.
Fortunately, most of the time I only come off as being a little eccentric. On the flip side, I do not read the body language of others very well at all.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Petros » Mon May 16, 2011 1:46 am

Nor can they read mine. My expressions and postures and gestures are Greek - to just about everybody but the Greeks.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Bare_Truth » Mon May 16, 2011 9:10 am

Petros wrote:....
My expressions and postures and gestures are Greek - to just about everybody but the Greeks.

Petros,
My situation is very similar to what you describe, However my case is influenced by my scientific and technical interests.

My expressions and postures and gestures are Geek - to just about everybody but the Geeks. :wink:
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby Jon-Marc » Wed May 18, 2011 4:49 pm

Actually, making EYE contact makes me very uncomfortable. I generally look at their mouth.
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Re: Overcoming the fear of being seen nude

Postby natman » Thu May 19, 2011 8:19 am

Bare_Truth wrote:My expressions and postures and gestures are Geek - to just about everybody but the Geeks. :wink:


I think you may have meant to use this emoticon...
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