21 years old an currious about nudism/naturist

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Re: 21 years old an currious about nudism/naturist

Postby jochanaan » Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:10 am

jasenj1, you've given some very good counsel.
jasenj1 wrote:...Define lust. Really. When you see an attractive woman (whatever you think of as attractive) and your brain says, "Wow. She's really good looking." Is that lust? What if you watch her for a few moments admiring her form? Lust yet? What if you imagine how lucky her husband is to get to have sex with her? Or visualize having sex with her?

IMHO, Christians have been conditioned that 1 and 2 above are lust. That the mere recognition of attractiveness and a brief once or twice looking over is lust. And that women who wear clothing that enhances or shows off their bodies are inciting lust.
I have been thankful all my adult life that a wise college professor, in a class on ethics, spent two entire class sessions talking about lust. He taught us that lust is NOT:
*Biological curiosity. Everyone wants to know about their bodies and how they work.
*Appreciation of beauty. We can enjoy looking at a beautiful thing, even if that "thing" is a woman, without any thought of going to bed with her.
*Desire for friendship. We all need friends. "It is not good for the man to be alone."
*Desire for touch--a need almost as basic as for food and water.
*Physical arousal without a will to follow through.
Lust, in Biblical terms, is a desire to possess, contrary to God's revealed word, a "moment of consent" to actions that harm both ourselves and others (spiritually if not physically).
jasenj1 wrote:Now, you're also a young man and the sex drive is pretty strong at that age and "ready to go". So seeing an attractive woman may cause a physical reaction with very little thought involved. A couple of suggestions: Look away and change your thoughts. Think of baseball, or work, or do math problems in your head...
That only works for a short time, if at all. And did you ever try NOT to think about something? :shock: :lol:

In my experience, a better way is to engage with her. Or, if that's not possible, to retrain our minds to see, not merely a body for our enjoyment, but a sister (at least a potential sister) in Christ, one with similar intelligence, will and hopes as ourselves. Once our minds begin to focus away from "how she makes me feel," we begin to be dominated not by our bodies' reactions, but by our spiritual convictions. That's the key to reducing the arousal factor: to focus not on the body but on the spirit and mind.
You can live your life in fear--or you can live your life.
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Re: 21 years old an currious about nudism/naturist

Postby Petros » Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:47 pm

A useful treatment of the subject.

I have never been the wolf whistle hubba hubba kind ofd guy, but in my files I have had two very different incidents that may well fit somewhere within lust. Perhaps not surprisingly, both occurred in what was arguably the roughest year of my then somewhat younger than now life.

1. It came to my attention that C, student in some of my classes, was under serious emotional stress and definitely vulnerable. It was put into my head [NOT a typical idea I would have without help] that if I approached her I could take advantage of that vulnerability. I was, frankly nauseated - faculty with student is for one of my style and background the ultimate taboo. I called her in and [the door open] advised her if I ever seemed to be making even the smallest advances to run off shouting. Which nicely shortcircuited the temptation and the unseemly imagination.

2. J was a very dear friend, we had a few times supported one another through tough things. We were not without a certain mutual attraction, but it was very clear to both that anything beyond deep friendship was not in the cards. She was ALMOST Herself, but NOT quite; she married a man in many respects close to me, but not exactly. One of those near miss relationships.

In that same very hard time, I visited her; as it happened it was an equally hard time for her. We had a good mutually helpful talk, come evening I got up to leave. At the door we looked at one another. Not to seem self-conceited, I knew that if either of us said one word we would be ignoring the not quite rightnesses. I am convinced she knew the same. And we said a sincere goodbye and I walked out.

It seems to me that lust and caring are antagonistic, that the sponsor of lust is hard at work to get us to depersonalize one another.
The truth, the stark naked truth, the truth without so much as a loincloth on, should surely be the investigator's sole aim - Basil Chamberlain
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Re: 21 years old an currious about nudism/naturist

Postby jochanaan » Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:02 am

Petros wrote:...It seems to me that lust and caring are antagonistic, that the sponsor of lust is hard at work to get us to depersonalize one another.
Very true. And this is also why many, including me, say that lust is not at all the same as natural desire for one's life partner.
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Re: 21 years old an currious about nudism/naturist

Postby Ramblinman » Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:26 pm

jochanaan wrote:
Petros wrote:...It seems to me that lust and caring are antagonistic, that the sponsor of lust is hard at work to get us to depersonalize one another.
Very true. And this is also why many, including me, say that lust is not at all the same as natural desire for one's life partner.

There is also the danger of covetousness.
I have met married women whom I could genuinely love, not merely lust after. If I had pursued her in a moment of weakness (on both our parts), it could have ruined a marriage that was already in trouble.

I would have been an adoring, loving husband to any of these women, nothing lustful about it. But that is not the point. I could have coveted another man's wife and been guilty in the eyes of God without having committed lust.
That's why we have 10 commandments and not just one. (although Jesus managed to summarize things down to two commandments) :mrgreen:

But I stopped before it got to the point of coveting (much less eloping). I appreciated her potential as an amiable companion were she still single and then moved on.

Doing the right thing is not always the easiest path to take in life, but it is always, by definition the best course of action.
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Re: 21 years old an currious about nudism/naturist

Postby Petros » Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:50 am

Can we in fact covet one who is to us person, not gthing?
The truth, the stark naked truth, the truth without so much as a loincloth on, should surely be the investigator's sole aim - Basil Chamberlain
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