telling parents

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telling parents

Postby peteman » Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:05 pm

for the parents.

what is the best way to tell our parents that we want to be a naturist?

this has to be for the teens with anti nudism parents
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Postby LivingFree » Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:53 pm

Hi, peteman,

I'll try to answer this as if my son told me this when he was about 16 yo. That was long before I even thought about any form of nudism, and my wife wasn't even being nude with me except occasionally in the shower, and under the covers. (Remember, this was before the sexual revolution, but then lots of parents still have that same mentality.)

If my son had told me he wanted to be nude in his bedroom, I would have said, "Well, OK, maybe, but make sure you keep your door shut so your sister doesn't see you." If he would have said, "But Dad, some of my best Christian friends have invited me to a nude sleep over." I would simply have said, "No. End of discussion."

His mother would have given him an earful, all about modesty etc.

Now, you know your parents better than I do. If they are totally against nudity, and if they are Christians, I would do a very thorough Bible study, and then pick a verse that "they" can't argue against, and be ready to defend all the "standard" objection verses. If you want to be nude by yourself there aren't many verses. But if you want to be nude with others, 1 Sam 19 (end of chapter) and Peter's fishing experience (John 20) might work, as long as it's only males. If it's in mixed company Isaiah 20 might work, but it's too easy to say, "Yea, but that was a special command of God for a special reason, and no one else was nude."

Now, if they're not Christians, or not as much into the Bible, someone else will have to advise you.

But after all that, my advice to you as a father and grandfather is, "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." (Eph. 6:1) The day will come, soon enough, when you will be on your own, and legally adult, and will have the right to make your own decisions. Then how you handle things changes somewhat, although you probably still don't want to destroy relationships.

That's all I'm going to say for now. If others want to speak, and you want to tell us more about your parents, we might have more to say.
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Postby Desert Hiker » Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:45 am

That is great advice LF.

To me, the biggest question that needs to be answered is; How do they feel about nudity around the home, and in general?

To answer this question, I would suggest "testing the waters" before you jump in--and land in some "hot water" :oops:

You might ask some generic questions, or tell a story about 'someone you heard about' who is a nudist, and guage their reaction. You could even try to "accidentily" (on purpose) get caught nude near the bathroom, or something like that, where you have a practical reason for being nude--and again, guage their reaction. This will give you a good feel for how they feel, before you risk getting into trouble, and show you how much work you have cut out for you.

Now, if you find that there is a glimmer of hope, then you can proceed with caution into revealing your desires of casual familial nudity. I have heard of some kids just slowly going nude more and more around the house, and eventually discussing it deliberately. Other kids just swallowed real hard, and popped the big question--point blank, with no beating around the bush. Either way, there really is no magic formula that works every time. You just have to discern where they stand on the issue, and if they are not agreeable to it, then determine if they are open to suggestions, or are their feet set in concrete. In any case, you must respect them, and obey them.

Good hunting.
Peace In Christ, Sam

Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart...--Job
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Postby natman » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:06 pm

As a parent that has raised several children, I have noticed that kids usually presuppose how their parents would respond to certain news, and so, build up a situation in their minds far beyond reality.

When our kids have come to us with questions or confessions forthrightly, we have found ourselves to be more likely to discuss the issues on a more level plain than when we discover something through the grapevine. 99% of the time, it has turned out to be nothing really serious, or if they have come to us early enough, serious consequences could often be avoided and a good lesson learned.

As I was growing up, I also found out myself that it was alot easier to be open and honest, especially with my parents. It built a STRONG relationship such that I was never afraid to approach them about ANY problem I had. And they were ALWAYS supportive. Keep in mind, I was not raised in a prudish household or even in a prudish neighborhood so discussions about the human boy were always handled honestly and maturely.

This site offers many social, physiological and Biblical reason to accept and practice Christian naturism. I recommend that you get familiar with the positive aspects of naturism in all of those areas, then speak to your parents. I also agree with Sam that you may want to start out in the third person ,saying "I have a friend that is a naturist. What do you know about naturism?"

If they say, "Oh that's a sin!!!", you could say, "But my friend says he is a Christian and that the Bible never declares that simply being naked is a sin. He says that God even uses nudity to His adantage several times in scripture." If anything, perhaps it will get them to at least think about it.

However, even if their mind is dead set against it and you know in your heart that there is nothing wrong with it, if they say "no", then you should comply with they wishes.

Deuteronomy 5:16
"Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you."
SON-cerely,
Nathan Powers

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Re: telling parents

Postby Toffer » Sat Feb 03, 2007 1:14 am

peteman wrote:for the parents.

what is the best way to tell our parents that we want to be a naturist?

this has to be for the teens with anti nudism parents


Ok heres what I want to know. Why do you want to tell your rents? Its not like doing something wrong. Right? But if you are all bent up worrying about how they are gonna react, then you got your answer I think. If you walking in your boxers or underwear around the house for example gets them uptight then you are not gonna win this one. If they were super cool about it you couldnt go to a AANR resort or club without them either so thats not gonna get you anywhere. If its just being able to get up in the morning and not put on anything or that then you already know how they feel about it. I dont see why some kids feel they NEED to tell their rents about it. And im saying that as someone whose rents belong to TNS. Were not that way at home most of the time but its kewl if u are too. Im saying that only to show you I kinda know what you want to do but why tell the rents is beyond me if you are afraid already about it. I see other ppl on ynai asking that sometimes and I dont get it.
-Chris
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Re: telling parents

Postby natman » Sat Feb 03, 2007 1:16 pm

Toffer wrote:Why do you want to tell your rents?


Chris,

Probably the first reason that I would say you would want to tell your parents is to be obedient to God's fifth commandment to "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you.." (Ex 20:12 and Dt 5:16). Also, as Christians, we are to submit ourselves to those that God has placed in authority over us, including our parents and the civil magistrates.

By communicating openly our actions and desires to our parents, we are practicing our submission which, when we become parents, will be direct to God. This is true EVEN if we know in our hearts that what we are doing is not wrong in the eyes of God. We must remember that if we do this, (submit) God has promissed to bless us and that we will not always be under the authority of our parents, that we are only considered "children" for a short time in the overall scheme of things.

If, after communicating a desire to practice naturism to you parents, they say "No", then, armed with the Word of God, all you need to do is be patient and wait for the day when you shall be considered an adult and no longer live in their home.
SON-cerely,
Nathan Powers

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Postby Toffer » Sat Feb 03, 2007 1:39 pm

I respect what you are saying and I am tight with my rents and respect them and they me too. I still stick to my post though as I don't think just because you have a thought or feeling you have to confide to your parents everything you think or want. That doesnt go against respect or honor or relgion.
I will say though again I respect your opinion but think mine is just as right with just as right reasons.
-Chris
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Postby bullet » Sat Feb 03, 2007 5:28 pm

Toffer wrote:I respect what you are saying and I am tight with my rents and respect them and they me too. I still stick to my post though as I don't think just because you have a thought or feeling you have to confide to your parents everything you think or want. That doesnt go against respect or honor or relgion.
I will say though again I respect your opinion but think mine is just as right with just as right reasons.
-Chris


I'm sure you believe that with all your heart Chris, but with all due respect, you're 17. I dare say when you're older and have children of your own, you will see things very differently. And youthful slang not withstanding, the word is "parents".
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Postby LivingFree » Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:14 pm

When I was raising my kids, my son and daughter were six years apart, and we were not at all into naturism then. If my son had confided his interests to me, the most I could have said was, "stay in your own room with it, and keep the door shut." My wife would have hit the ceiling. Yes, we would have wanted them to honor and obey us in that, whether we were wrong or right, and frankly, if our son kept it to himself with his door shut in his room, no prob.
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Postby Desert Hiker » Sun Feb 04, 2007 5:29 am

Chris, I understand what you are saying--and no I did not tell everything to my parents either, but now as I am older, and a parent, I really wish that I had been more open with them. I am not saying that you need to confide every deepest thought with them, but certain lifestyle choices we make do deserve to be expressed--and as your parents they deserve to know these kinds of things. Just as they know you like to surf, as I am sure you have not kept that a big secret, they would like to know other things you like to do as well. I know that telling them about your interest in naturism could be a potentially upsetting event--so our natural inclination is to avoid this potential pain, and just keep our mouth shut. It may not be the easiest thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. It could be painful, or it could be painless, but the regret of your not confiding in them will last your whole life.

Everyone's situation is different, and ultimately we must all make our choices and live with the consequences. There are consequences for even doing the right thing, that are not that pleasant. But somehow those consequences are ultimately easier to live with than the shame that accompanies the others. Consider carefully, and choose wisely, what ever you ultimately decide, you must live with it forever.

Consider this: Not telling them that you like to be nude, forces you to hide it. So you hide in your room a lot, with the door closed and locked, and are evasive about your activities there when asked...this only creates suspicion, and mistrust. They may even suspect that you are doing drugs, or what ever. Being honest, and open about this may not free you up to roam the house nude, but at least it will relieve them from suspecting you of being involved in illegal, or other activities that would be much worse by comparison. And, who knows--they may just say; "go for it--but please put something on when we have guests". Either way, you have a clean conscience, and they are able to be at peace with you, and rest easy at night--knowing that you are not in your room plotting the overthrow of the free world, or anything.

One more thing to bear in mind--I later learned that my parents actually knew most of the things that I thought I was keeping a secret, but they were only waiting to let me tell them in my own time. So, chances are they already have some knowledge of your interests, or doings anyway--so it is not like you would be dropping a bomb in their laps. Most likely they would smile, and maybe even chuckle, and say; "we were wondering if you were ever going to fess up". So, play secret agent man, if you want, but just know this--you ain't foolin' anyone--least of all, your parents :wink:
Peace In Christ, Sam

Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart...--Job
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Postby Toffer » Sun Feb 04, 2007 9:52 am

bullet wrote:
Toffer wrote:I respect what you are saying and I am tight with my rents and respect them and they me too. I still stick to my post though as I don't think just because you have a thought or feeling you have to confide to your parents everything you think or want. That doesnt go against respect or honor or relgion.
I will say though again I respect your opinion but think mine is just as right with just as right reasons.
-Chris


I'm sure you believe that with all your heart Chris, but with all due respect, you're 17. I dare say when you're older and have children of your own, you will see things very differently. And youthful slang not withstanding, the word is "parents".


Ok.

Hey guys. Thanks for the super warm welcome but I can see this is like the old CFF adult looking down on the younger person type thing. Your only 17..wait till you grow older...things like that. I appreciate the welcome again but I can see its really like that even though I respected your post and said that. Its all good. Ill leave now. I did not say you guys dont know what you are talking about and did say I respected your thoughts but I had to get two others come back and say 'when you grow up' type posts.

Take care guys.
You can cancel me out.
-Chris
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Postby Crafty Mom » Fri May 23, 2008 3:33 pm

Hi peteman,
The guys have given you a lot of good advice. So here's a Mom's point of view/advice:

I grew up in a pretty strict household. Where nudity was: when using in the bathroom [by myself or while mom/dad were using it also], changing clothes in my bedroom, & occasional going topless indoors during hot summer months.

My dad was getting interested in family nudity sometime around my early teen years. So when he mentioned it to mom, it resulted in misunderstood intentions & a HUGE argument between 'em.

:fighting:

I guess she thought it had something to do with sex... :oops: :?

No matter when or how you bring up the subject of you being nude around the house, make sure they know why you'd like to do it in the first place. And above all PRAY about this first :pray: & let GOD give you HIS advice!
HUGS & GOD BLESS!
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Re: telling parents

Postby ethan » Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:28 am

Wow that was some good reading. I am a in my bedroom nudist, im not sure how my parents would react. I dont think they would make a big deal about it or not. we were in a hotel a few months ago and I forgot my p,j,s so my dad said just sleep in your under wear just dont let your thing hang out. then a few minutes later he said its not like me or mom dont know what you look like we used to bathe you. So they would probaly ok with it. but I figured thatsince were moving to arizona ina few months and probaly getting a house with a pool i would just wait till my dad starts skinny dipping again (he already said he would) and then bring up the whole nudist talk. any advice
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Re: telling parents

Postby jochanaan » Sun Jun 28, 2009 11:27 am

Ethan, if your father has already mentioned skinny-dipping, I'd guess you'll have no trouble unless your mother is dead set against it. But it never hurts to know what the Bible really says--and what it doesn't say. If you haven't already done so, get out your complete concordance and look up all references to "naked" and "nakedness." You might also check out the Scripture discussion pages in Fig Leaf Forum's membership section.
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