Discussing things with your parents

Teens may ask their questions here, and may give advice.
Adults may only give advice on the questions asked by the teens. No Adult Rabbit Trails allowed.
Adults: Keep your advice brief and to the point. Teens don't like lectures, you know!<P>Offending posts will be removed by the Councillor.

Moderators: jochanaan, MatthewNeal, jimmy, Desert Hiker, Senior Moderator, Moderators

Discussing things with your parents

Postby dby » Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:08 pm

I'd like provide some ideas for how a teen might approach their parents about naturism. These basic guidelines can be applied to any other topic of discussion as well. How well any of these things work will depend entirely upon what sort of parents you have. Some will be more receptive to you having independent thought than others.

1. Discuss things with your parents from the position of humility.

Always remember that your parents were the ones who changed your diapers. They saw you naked right from the very start. Your nakedness is nothing new to them.

However, this also means that from their perspective you will always be their little child - even when you turn 30 or so. (Yeah, life is tough.) Often parents will have trouble letting go and allowing you to start having independent thought. Ideally there should be a shift in thinking that occurs when you turn Bar Mitzvah age (your 13th birthday or so). As you become a teen, ideally they will become your guide and your mentor to help you learn to become a mature adult and to make mature decisions. Remember that they are the teacher and you are the student. Use that position to your best advantage and be willing to learn as best you can.

Remember, that as long as you come to them with the appearance of humility and submissiveness, it will be difficult for them to be angry with you.

2. Never argue with your parents.

This will be difficult because, down deep inside yourself, you think that you are correct and that they are wrong. While this is always a possibility, remember that they have already walked the same path that you are on. They know the mistakes that they made at your age.

A helpful technique if you find that voices are starting to raise is to make your voice soft and meek. If you yell back a them, then they will only get louder and the problem will escalate. If they are yelling and are asking you a question, answer softly, with humility. When you answer softly, they have to stop yelling in order to hear you. You can actually learn to stop them from yelling at you by learning to use this technique effectively. Remember, "A soft answer turns away anger" (Proverbs 15:1)

If you see that they are reacting in anger, lower your head and attempt to withdraw from the conflict as best you can.

3. Always act a bit confused and ask questions.

Even if you think that you have all the right answers and want to show your parents what you know - DON'T! Play like you don't know a thing, rather ask your parents questions. Using keywords such as "help me". Your parents are programmed to want to help you! So instead of asking a childish "why?" style of question, formulate a question that will make them want to explain.

A properly formed question can cause your parents to start questioning their own preconceived notions about the topic at hand.

4. Study!

Always remember to study the topic at hand before asking your parents questions about it. You will then know in advance what sorts of answers they are going to give, and you can compare their answers to what you have learned on your own.

5. Think through in advance what they will give as an answer.

Ideally, as you study the topic you are going to question your parents about, you should start writing down what your question will be. Then try to come up with possible answers that they will give you in response. You know your parents, and you know the type of answers that they are likely to give. Write down each of those possible answers that you come up with. Then formulate possible follow-up questions that you can ask in response.

Again, as you ask the follow-up questions try your best to act confused. No good parent wants their child to be confused. So always try to ask for clarification because you are having trouble understanding what they are getting at.

6. Give thanks!

When they have finished giving you their answers to your questions, be very polite and say, "thank you for taking the time to help me think this issue through. You have given me more to think about on this issue."

Then, when you are dismissed, go back to the notes on the topic that you are writing and record their answers as best you can. Study more and come up with some good follow-up questions. Don't rush back the next night. Let it wait several days. Think of possible areas where their answers are not logical.

If your parents are Bible Believers, don't be afraid to ask them to give evidence from Scripture for their position. Honor your parents! But they need to help you to come to maturity in your belief as well. Looking for Scriptural support will help ground both of you in your Faith.
User avatar
dby
Native Resident
 
Posts: 565
Joined: Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:05 am
Location: Colorado

Re: Discussing things with your parents

Postby dby » Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:17 pm

To start off the discussion of naturism with your parents, it is probably best to keep it based on the subject of Christian Naturism as you see modeled on this site. If the discussion were expanded outwards to include all forms of nudity, obviously you will have a much less strong position to stand on. Nudity is frequently misused for the purpose of titillation, pornography and perversity.b

So, for an introductory question, perhaps something like:

"Mom? Dad? I came across an idea that confuses me. There are some people that are born-again Christians who worship God while naked. Could you show me what the Bible says about being naked?"

This is where the above idea of "Study" will serve you well. Before asking this question, you should do a complete Biblical word study on the term "naked" and see all the ways it is used.

Your parents have probably never done a complete word study on the term, so they will probably just tell you that being naked is wrong. Be prepared for this with specific examples from Scripture. 1st Samuel 19:24 would be a good one to be familiar with. There, there people of Israel thought that King Saul must be a prophet because he took off his clothing and laid naked all day.
User avatar
dby
Native Resident
 
Posts: 565
Joined: Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:05 am
Location: Colorado

Re: Discussing things with your parents

Postby jimmy » Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:43 am

I have found the following "rules" help in understanding what the Bible is telling us.


The first five are most significant.



BIBLE INTERPRETATION

--- THE RULES ----


1. The Bible is God’s word (all of it).
2. The Bible does not contradict itself.
3. Sin existed before God created the world.
4. Sin is always sin.
5. God never asks (tells) anyone to sin.
6. Determine the literary style of the text.
7. Who is the author and to whom was he writing.
8. What is the local geography.
9. What kind of government existed – know the politics.
10. What was the culture like – day-to-day life.
User avatar
jimmy
Councillor
 
Posts: 550
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:08 am
Location: Boston MA

Re: Discussing things with your parents

Postby dby » Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:01 pm

The next direction you might consider going with your discussion is memories of your younger years. This will depend on how good your memories are. Do you remember as a toddler being allowed to wander naked at the beach or through the house? Some families even allow their toddlers to play naked in the sandbox (which makes cleanup so much easier).

"I'm confused. I remember you used to let me go naked, what has changed?"

Their response will be that you are older now. Indeed, this is an area where society does have some clear cut delineation made. It is socially accepted for the parent of an infant to change diapers out in the open, without a blanket over them. (Unlike a infant breastfeeding which society declares should be done in the toilet or some other private place). It is one thing to change the diapers of an infant in public, it would be another thing to change the "Depends" on an elderly person in public.

So you can ask why age makes a difference. What is the magic day at which the toddler must stop being allowed to walk naked? How was that particular date arrived at? Is there any science to back the concept that the child is suddenly "different" when that date has passed? Is there something that can be measured or quantified that would demonstrate that "wrongness" suddenly enters in when a child passes a particular birthday?

Remember, be humble and confused as you ask these questions. Saying, "I don't understand, can you explain this better" is perfectly valid.
User avatar
dby
Native Resident
 
Posts: 565
Joined: Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:05 am
Location: Colorado


Return to Teen Questions / Adult Advice

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests