Brothers and Sisters,
I speak very much from personal experience. This is my testimony. I grew up in a very legalistic, but theologically-correct home. My father was a Presbyterian pastor. I was that "Christian", that Elder, that Deacon, that Sunday School teacher, that talked the same, laughed at and told the same dirty jokes as my work-mates. I wasn't salt and light. I am, with the Apostle Paul, the "chief of sinners". My "sins are ever before me" with the Psalmist. I looked good, smelled good...at least from a distance, but was rotten to the core. My "Christianity" had been about keeping a set of rules, which I didn't keep very well.
Don't even get me started on church politics, because I have seen way too many evil dealings in churches to last me five lifetimes. Dad got thrown of of one church because of a power struggle. He had brought too many people of the "wrong kind" into the church, and that was eroding away at the power base of the old-timers. After they threw dad out, most of the "newcomers" left, and all that was left was the handful of "old-timers". I had just gone into the service when this all happened.
Maybe that, and my legalistic upbringing, were a big part of why I rebelled while I was in the service. I rarely darkened the door of a church the whole time I was in the service, because I said "If these people are "Christians", I don't want any part of it". I did everything I wasn't allowed to do growing up. After getting out of the service, I started going back to church, but all I had was religion. Sure I could talk the talk with the best of them, but I really didn't know anything about the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I was still trying to do it on my own.
Years later, I taught Sunday School, became a Deacon, and finally an Elder. Sure, I was a "believer", and a theologically-correct one at that, but I didn't have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I did it my way. I even got thrown out of the church I was an Elder in...
Then the Good News of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ started sinking in. I could no longer do it on my own. I had to become dependent on Him. I had to accept His righteousness, because I really had none of my own. "Nothing in my hands I bring. Simply to Thy cross I cling..."
Now, I am that outcast...that loser, that "sinner". I am that person the goody-two-shoes don't want to associate with. I am that many-marriages, many-divorces man that doesn't fit in, because I don't fit into the typical mold of a "good Christian". I am different. I care. I want to be salt and light to those sick and hurting people most churches want nothing to do with, because I have "been-there, done-that, and got the T-shirt". Maybe I am different because God wants me to be different, so my experiences give me more love and compassion for those who know they need the Great Physician. My arms are open wide. Anyone need a big hug, come on over.
God bless!
Steve